Thanx mum!!

tomorrow is mother's day... well, actually we dont need to wait for Mother's Day to show appreciation and gratitude... but sometimes we dont realise that we actually take our mother for granted... slalu jer buat dia terasa hati... direct or indirectly... so, today.. i'm gonna do it formally in my blog... dedicated entry for the person who has done so much in my life...

i think without me realising it, my character building is very much influenced by her... her principles and stand in life.... growing up watching her strength to bring up the 3 of us has teach me a lot in facing difficulties in life... when we were small, she will try her very best to provide all that we need; even forgotting her needs... asalkan we all adik beradik grew up a normal life..

i was not close to her before... we had the same birth month... kalau ikut arwah nenek i dulu... relationship we all "panas"... alwiz disagree with each other... what she say, i'll do the opposite... maybe also bcoz i was close to my dad before the divorce... agaknya masa tu as a child, you dunno how to release your anger & confusion wif whats happening surrounding you... i end up becoming the "problem " child ... alwiz try to be far away from home.. rasa tak sedih pun bila kena pegi belajar jauh2... how immature kan..

as i grow older, esp masa kat UK... baru la pandai nak get close to her... mungkin sbb jauh... baru rasa thankful for all the things she has done before... dulu tak pandai nak appreciate; masa kat jb she would come and visit me almost every mth... driving fr kl to jb on sat (sbb masa tu cuti jb and kl tak sama) ... after subuh to reach jb by lunch and then ptg tu drive back to kl... dah la masa tu hway tak siap lagi... bawak food penuh kereta... thats how she is... not only feed her daughter but also the whole gang... heh...

tp i yg degil ni slalu la buat decision yg against her consent... i rasa tak tahu la dah berapa byk kali she got her high blood pressure bcoz of me... esp abt my love life la... i guess she wants me to hv a better life than her... well, mak mana yg tak nak... the thing that i appreciates most is how she tried not to barge into my private life but when i'm at my lowest point in my life... she'll be there and try giving her support indirectly... even when i've made the worst mistake, no blame word comes out of her... only positive words to push me fwd to face the future...

now we r closer... we go shopping, watch movie, gossipping... heh... most of my weekend i spend at home... maybe trying to replace all those time before... nway, she's getting old... i know she wants soooo much to see me settle down and hv my own family... i hope i can fulfil that wish cepat2... i wish God will provide me the means, energy and rezeki to provide her all the things that she dream to hv masa dulu2 (yg she sacrifice to provide for us)... i hope i will hv the strength and the patience (and a very understanding husband) to take care of her bila dia dah tak larat nanti...

mmg kalau nak ikutkan we cant afford to repay what our mother has done for us... terlalu banyak... well, who i am today partly is mould by her... my strength, compassion, the way i view life, the way i bring myself... all thanx to her.. and i'm really sorry that i alwiz find a way to hurt ur feelings... but, as a mother u'll alwiz find a part in ur heart to forgive me... i hope i'll be like you when i hv my own kids later... i know i've learn so much fr u without you realising...


THANK YOU MAMA FOR EVERYTHIN........